I learned this week I am going to need another surgery. I will be having knee/hamstring repair surgery a week from tomorrow. It is not determined why but it is determined that part of my hamstring and joint capsule is captured by permanent sutures and needs to be released in order for my left leg to regain normal range of motion. The news was hard to take on many levels. I was overwhelmed, heart-broken, frustrated, empty, and lost all at the same moment. I felt fear on many levels and search for understanding. The past few days the only feelings I can describe are emptiness and confusion. BUT…
I had a long talk with a close friend last night at the moment when I felt like I hit the ground. He has been their through EVERY hurdle, been by my side, there for a hug or dose of reality, and have NEVER stopped believing in ME. I’m not talking just about running, training, the next race or workout. He has been their to help me connect with God, guide my workouts not just in becoming a more talented runner but finding a source of strength that no workout can achieve. I cried out of confusion on why someone so talented is taken when I was spared. I cried out of fear that my source of strength (my running) will soon be taken temporarily away when I feel I need it the most. But his words comforted me and assured me that this is just another “pain in the ass” and it will only make the future that much brighter. This person will now be my running coach, training partner, and we will together run and explore the trails, he will guide my footsteps and we will together achieve greatness. Thanks Russ Delap.. you have never turned away and are always there night and day for words of inspiration and motivation.
I spent most the night praying.
I now have 2 wonderful people. Russ and Mike Ribar, that not only help me achieve my goals but have already made me a much better person. Russ (running) and Mike (performance enhancement/ rehab.) will now help me achieve what I was meant to do, the role God has given me. I will work with relentless positivity, determination, and when things get tough I have Faith and the support of my coaches and friends. I am so fortunate both of my leaders are faith based and so I will persevere…I will find the courage, strength, and belief needed to overcome what is placed at my feet. The support of my Dr.’s, Jeff Wilkens, my PT…surgeons, etc have truly made overcoming these hurdles possible. I am thankful.
I have made this decision, will stand behind it 100% and let Russ and Mike direct and guide me. I put 100% trust in these individuals and know that it will lead to success on whatever level it is meant to be. I am fortunate to have such a supportive community of friends and role models that only make this journey so much sweeter.
As I finish typing this I have a new sense of direction. I am excited for the Fall, I will take the surgery and recovery as I take any long distance run, one step at a time, recovery is really no different than a long and rocky trail run over hilly terrain.
I leave you with a quote, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”
I will not hide during this recovery and comeback. I will share in the achievements of my friends as they pursue their goals. I will use their energy to inspire my recovery AND I will be back. STRONGER, FASTER, and with ULTIMATE STAMINA.